But then I decided to tell her we broke up last week, because I actually was not going to let pass this chance to flirt with her. So I said: “Oh but we just broke up last week !”. She said: “Then what are you waiting for ?”. At that point, while she was looking over her shoulder, inviting me to push my body against hers, I did not hesitate much longer and started to gently lean on her. Immediately she turned her head and was sticking out her tongue, a movement from which I inferred quite some desire. I asked her: “You don’t have a bf ?”. She said: “Not here, not now, and giggled”. I realized she was in the good mood and definitely not the shy girl I had been seeing last week. Before I knew I was enjoy the closeness of her body and my hand were moving up under her T-shirt, reaching her soft tits. Already her nipples were hard and I could hear her breathing pace changing while I touched them. She said: “Yes please massage my tits, that feels so good”, so I started doing that and felt. Right, we can begin to develop the skills of compassionate relationship. We stop judging people and start relating to them instead. We recognize, first and foremost, that we’re not in a relationship to focus on how well the other person is learning their lessons, but rather to focus on learning our own.The ego defends against love, not fear. Pain in relationships can be perversely comfortable pain, in that is one we know. We’re used to it. I once heard a tape by Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, in which he told of seeing a newspaper article about an abused baby being taken away from his mother. As a police matron tried to take the baby, he kept struggling to remain in his mother’s arms. Although his mother was the one who beat him, she was the one he knew. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is what we know, and we resist moving out of it. The effort it takes to grow.
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